What does unconditional love truly mean beyond the idea of loving without conditions? I feel there are three parts to this- Defining Love, Conditions, and Acceptance or Unconditional.
First off, we'd have to define love. Although how can one define love? Every person, animal, and energy would define love differently. Love thought of in the romantic sense can be misleading on true definition. Would it be fair to say that society norms, TV shows, movies, books, and music paint a picture of what love is or should be like? What about the observations you take in from how your family members, friends, and co-workers experience, show, and express love? Now wouldn't it be fair to say all of these external illustrations may have created a misleading definition of love? This definition of love may be all we know love to be. So do we truly know what love is? Do we know we were in love because in the beginning it gave us butterflies in our stomach? Do we know we were in love because we watched what was, slowly dissipate, until we were left with nothing more to give, bruised, hurt, and abandoned by the same source of energy that took us to the top?
Is that what love is? Is the love given to a romantic partner the same love a mother gives to her child? Is this love consistent or granted by moral obligations? What is love, with all these stipulations and variables? If you must love yourself before you can love others, and we're referencing the above thoughts or definition, we can't love ourselves at all, nor another...because that love is based on conditions.
So now we have conditions. These conditions can be conciseness or unconsciousness. We either knowingly feel loved when X, Y, or Z takes place or we subconsciously feel loved when they take place. Referencing the five love languages (Words of Affirmations, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, and Physical Touch) can both be felt consciously and subconsciously, but it's still fair to call it a condition, Conditioned Love, based on conditions. Now for you to love yourself before you can love another, have you filled your love tank up yourself by using your love languages? Or is that not possible because we're relying on external validation from another person to show us what we aren't showing ourselves. This can't be true, how could love be defined on conditions with the expectation that another person has to provide what we can't for ourselves. This almost seems selfish, Here- clean up my mess for me please. I'm sorry but that is not anyone's responsibility, that is our responsibility. And in return it is by no way shape or form fair to expect that from someone or demand it.
Now by no means am I saying there's not great partnerships that equal each other out and it is extremely lovely to have a great supporter on the other side of you. But I am simply emphasizing the reality behind conditioned love, which I do not feel is a respectful definition of what love is meant to be at all. When you read the above, I know you could agree.
So now there's Unconditional or acceptance. It seems pretty simple, just the opposite from above. Although it would be found much more difficult than one can imagine. As we are a spiritual being experiencing this life as a human with emotions, wounds, and the material world, it can be quite hard to love unconditionally. What is easier, loving someone else unconditionally or loving yourself unconditionally? Well, you're stuck with you, so that would be the smarter choice, although it may be the harder one to win. While unconditionally loving another person may be easier because we can remove ourselves from their energy and contemplate what took place, forgive, accept and understand their decisions, behavior, expressions, etc. Could you do the same for you? It's not quite that easy, instead you have to face yourself. Thoughts of regret, guilt, shame, anger, frustration, lack, loneliness, helplessness, etc. But once we accept ourselves for everything and anything that we may have done or thought negatively about ourselves we can come to that level of understanding and acceptance that indirectly brings us to unconditional love.
As we are simply here to experience life, there is no wrong or right. We are here to evolve and to evolve, would be coming back to self...unconditionally. At the same time, presenting that unconditional love, acceptance, and understanding for others, it is their experience too. It is our choice to understand and accept that or allow it to dictate our experience. Always forgive
- Ben